Now there's a Funny Thing
Hi there, Mateys!
I was reading the winter issue of Focal Points t'other day, and there's this story about a chap who uses a Wysiwyg compact camera and actually got 'is "PC Bag" awarded at Lancaster with shots taken with it. Great stuff I thought; so off I goes to Jesnocobs wi' a pocketful full o' brass determined to step into the 21st century.
A young chap was behind the counter.
Me: I want to see your selection of Wysiwyg compacts.
Yc (politely): Yes Sir
He thought I couldn't hear him, when he put his hand to his mouth, turned to a colleague and said" You didn't tell me we get drunks in here" I didn't let on that I 'd heard every word. He turned back to me.
Yc: What do you want to use it for?
A bloody daft sort of question I thought but then I noticed his badge said Junior sales.
Me: To take picture, of course!
His colleague spotted what might be brewing up and putting on a superior air decided to take over.
C: Is it a new camera you want?
Me (with a sense of relief): Yes! I've heard that these small compacts are really good quality, and so much easier to carry that I've decided to splash out.
C: What camera do you use now? You might want to keep the same make.
Me: It's a Thornton Pickard He put on a puzzled look, then smiled weakly
C: Oh really! I thought that was a kind of American car?
Me: No! It's a camera. A proper camera. I've been using it for years, along with the Sanderson, and never any trouble with either.I think the time has come for something lighter so what I want is a Wysiwyg but I don't want one that packs up on Honeymoon.
He looked a bit odd and turned to the young chap:
Yc: (in a whisper) Did he say Honeywell? I think I've heard of that name, haven't I?
You could tell he'd a long way to go before he'd be qualified to work for Wallace Heaton. The Salesman turned back to me.
C: Did you say Honeywell, Sir?
Me: No! what I said was Honey-MOON, and I sh-
The salesman interrupted me and gave a knowing look to his colleague.
C: Oh, I've got it, You're getting married, and it's a present for the bride. May I offer my congratulations Sir!
He started beaming with confidence at the progress being made. Other customers who had stopped to listen smiled too. Desperation might more accurately describe my feelings, but I persevered. I slowly described how a clubmate had read out this story in Focal Points about the chap who'd just got his PCBag with a compact wysiwyg camera and can now put letters after his name; how it didn't need filters or owt; that it came with a 105 Muggers Zoomcanon: that you didn't have to fiddle about setting apertures or anything; and how every shot was a winner; but it packed up on his honeymoon leaving him completely devastated so he had to go out and buy another.
Me: Now surely you can appreciate the disappointment he must have felt for his equipment to pack up on his honeymoon? But so long as you've got one in stock that has been properly checked and not likely to go demic then that's what I want - a WYSIWYG!
I spelt the word out quite slowly so that he couldn't misunderstand. It was clear that the other customers followed my drift but the Saleschap stayed speechless with a gormless look about him. Mustering up all my patience , not an easy thing to do in the circumstances, I expounded further.
Me: Look! I'm going away soon for my Golden Wedding Anniversary and rather than hump around the Thornton Pickard I thought I would treat myself to one of the new Wysiwyg's, but not if the're unreliable.
You'd never have thought there could be so much trouble in trying to modernise my tackle - especially from a shop who everyone kept saying was so clued up. And after all its not everyday someone walks in wanting to spend twenty quid Is it?
Yc: Whats Focal Points? Well at this I just had to leave , didn't I?
Anyone who hasn't heard of th'Onions Journal can't be much cop working in a photographic shop.
So matey's, instead of chucking away good brass I've decided to get the Box camera going again. And would you believe it, I'm damned if I can find anybody who stocks 620!!
F.E. Leven |